her vagine was all disorganized.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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