I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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