I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
