I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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