just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
