sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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