I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
