Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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