that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
