Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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