They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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