You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
