I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
