I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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