The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
