Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
