he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you will always have a special place in my vag
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
