That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
