Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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