Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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