that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
