Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
