Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
