I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
