She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
