Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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