My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
