We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
