Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
