So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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