Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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