He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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