Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
