do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
