i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I touched a dick in church today
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
