xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
