thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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