thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
