she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
