for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
