She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
