You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
