How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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