then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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