What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
