you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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