The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
