Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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