if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
