everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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