Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
