So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
