Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
