his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
